Sigh.  Once again they almost avoid being the rotten apple of my eye.  My not so snarky comments in red.

This evening Cari.net will conduct an emergency maintenance window to provide additional protection and redundancy for the C2 Data Center. [Planned emergency maintence window. Nice!] Every attempt is made to provide advance notice of these windows; however, in the interest of our customers ,it has been decided that postponing these actions may subject our customers to undue risk. [We forgot to send the email, we got the Special Post Mortem Version of D&D.]

At 12:00am this evening (Friday, March 28th) [Ooops, 12:00am Friday was this morning, around 18 hours ago.  You probably mean midnight tonight, or Saturday morning.][Wait, what time zone?], Cari.net Network Service Teams will install an additional BGP router [Oooooh.] within the C2 data center. This router will provide load sharing and additional redundancy to this segment of our network.

The maintenance will begin promptly at midnight and is expected to take approximately 15 minutes. Service impact should be minimal, though customers with equipment or services located in C2 may notice brief periods of latency and intermittent loss of connectivity during this short window as BGP tables are recalculated. [Is my stuff in C2?  How would I know.  Don't you know?  Why don't you tell me?] Senior Networking Team members will be onsite managing this event. [Blame will be allocated immediately!]

This work is being done to augment changes made during the March 21st window and to provide protection against additional large-scale network problems in the future. [We are not sure we fixed it right last time.   Now we're pretty sure it's the fuel injectors and not the distributor.] Customers located in Cari.net’s C5 facility will be unaffected by this maintenance window. [Probably.]

 Golly.  I am starting to think that Dilbert's PHB works there.